What Are Boundaries?

Boundaries are the limits we set with ourselves and others to protect our well-being and nurture safe, respectful relationships. Think of them as the “fences” around your emotional, physical, and mental space—flexible enough to let love and connection in, yet firm enough to keep harm out. Unlike threats, which seek to control or punish, healthy boundaries honor both your needs and the needs of others. They create balance, respect, and freedom rather than fear or control.

Why Boundaries Matter

• Support emotional safety

• Build mutual respect in relationships

• Prevent burnout and resentment

• Strengthen self-esteem and confidence

• Encourage healthier communication and connection

Types of Boundaries

1. Personal Boundaries: “I need time alone after work to recharge.”

• “I need at least one evening a week to myself.” → Protects rest and self-care.

• “I choose not to discuss my body or diet with others.” → Keeps conversations respectful.

2. Physical Boundaries: “I’m not comfortable hugging; a handshake works best for me.”

• “Please knock before entering my office/room.” → Creates respect for personal space.

• “I don’t want to be touched without being asked first.” → Protects safety and autonomy.

3. Emotional Boundaries: “I can listen to your feelings, but I can’t take responsibility for your emotions.”

• “I can support you, but I can’t make your decisions for you.” → Clarifies responsibility.

• “I’m not comfortable talking about that right now.” → Prevents overwhelm.

4. Time & Energy Boundaries: “I can meet for coffee, but only for an hour.”

• “I’m available to talk between 6–8 p.m., but not during the workday.” → Maintains focus.

• “I don’t check emails after 7 p.m.” → Maintains work-life balance.

• “I can take on one big project at a time.” → Prevents burnout.

5. Relationship Boundaries: “We will not raise our voices during arguments.”

• “When we argue, I need us to take a 10-minute break if voices are raised during arguments..” → Keeps conflict respectful.

• “I’d like to handle my family’s issues privately, and I’ll respect your way of handling yours.” → Balances individuality and connection.

• “I’m not comfortable with secretly checking each other’s phones.” → Supports trust and privacy.

Healthy Boundaries

Saying “no” without guilt

Taking responsibility for your own emotions

Sharing honestly and appropriately

Respecting others’ differences

Balancing closeness with individuality

How to Enforce Boundaries

1. Repeat & Stay Consistent
“I’m still not available to talk about that topic.”

2. Broken Record Technique

• Them: “Come on, just stay out late this once.”

• You: “No, I need to leave by 10.”

• Them: “You’re no fun.”

• You: “I hear you, but I’m leaving at 10.”

3. Offer Alternatives
“I can’t lend you money, but I’d be glad to help you look at budgeting options.”

4. Use Natural Consequences
Boundary: “I won’t stay in conversations where I’m being yelled at.”
Enforcement: Leave the room if yelling continues.

5. Keep It Short & Respectful
“I can’t make it tonight, but thank you for the invite.”

6. Protect Emotional Energy
Reminder: “Their disappointment doesn’t mean I did something wrong.”

7. Reinforce Positive Responses
“Thanks for understanding—I really appreciate it.”

Reflection Questions

• Where in my life do I feel drained, resentful, or taken advantage of?

• Which boundaries are strong and healthy for me right now?

• What is one boundary I’d like to practice setting this week?

This handout is provided for educational purposes only. It is not intended as a substitute for professional therapy, diagnosis, or medical advice. If you are seeking support, please consult with a qualified mental health or healthcare provider.